Satire: Pomp & Cirumstance (Yet Again)

Melania to Follow in Michelle’s Footsteps Once Again

Previously published in The Crampus

At City College’s 2016 Spring Commencement, the wise words of (the then) First Lady, Michelle Obama, dazzled graduates and families. In her last graduation address as First Lady, Obama spoke highly of CCNY and the inclusive legacy it represents. She told of her own journey in becoming a student at Princeton, and praised the commitment of all graduates, as well as encouraged the class of 2016 to reach high and pursue their every hope.

City College’s 2016 commencement received an exorbitant amount of positive press from major news organizations such as NBC, The New York Times, and the New York Daily News. With such an exceptional response, it seems as if the administration cannot top that ceremony. How could they dream of finding someone for 2017 to mimic Michelle’s beautifully spoken words? It’s inconceivable!

Think again.

The City College of New York has invited none other than First Lady Melania Trump to speak at this year’s Spring Commencement ceremony! That’s right, you’ve heard it here first! In June, CCNY will have the pleasure of hearing (the third) Mrs. Trump speak to the graduating class of 2017. This past election season, the world observed how fond Melania truly is of Michelle. So fond, she found Obama’s words to be of her own creativity. At the Republican National Convention, Melania Trump’s speech was brought under attack for sharing similarities with Michelle Obama’s 2008 address to the Democratic National Convention. These similarities concerned only a few individuals across the nation. In their extremely biased opinion, they saw Melania using the same exact words in the same exact order of Michelle over and over again without giving her any credit whatsoever as a form of “plagiarism.”

For example, Michelle Obama noted in her 2008 speech that her and Barack were raised with the same values. She gave the example of working “hard for what you want in life; that your word is your bond and youvdo what you say you’re going to do; thatvyou treat people with dignity and respect.” Melania similarly noted in her 2016 RNC speech that “you work hard for what you want in life. That your word is your bond and you do what you say and keep your promise. That you treat people with respect.”

The two women also seem to share a passion for children. Obama shared so many years ago how, “we [Barack and I] want our children — and all children in this nation — to know that the only limit to the height of your achievements is the reach of your dreams and your willingness to work for them.” Melania just so happened to have nearly identical aspirations, “we [Donald and I] want our children in this nation to know that the only limit to your achievements is the strength of your dreams and your willingness to work for them.”

Yet, who is the ‘mainstream media’ or the ‘corrupt government’ to judge Melania Trump for the supposed similarities? Trump’s campaign denied all accusations of fraud. They blamed the evil Hillary Clinton and her leftist cohorts for all bad media surrounding Melania’s “heartfelt and original speech.”

Although the choice to have Melania Trump speak at the 2017 commencement may seem boldly against the moral ideals of City College and its administration, do not fear. Due to her prior speech history, the address this year is expected to be inspired by Mrs. Obama’s 2016 commencement address in both ethics and exact wordage.

In fact, CCNY hopes that Trump will be able to echo the theme of the past commencement, one of acceptance for all ethnicities, faiths, and walks of life. Only a slight contradiction to her husband’s opinion of the American creed.

If Mrs. Trump follows her tradition of “sharing” aspects of her speech with Mrs. Obama, expect to hear some of the following: First off of Melania’s tough beginnings, “[growing] up in a working class family in Chicago.” Then, of course, some wisdom on the current immigration rhetoric in our country, “for centuries, this city has been the gateway to America for so many striving, hope-filled immigrants […] founded on the fundamental truth that talent and ambition know no distinctions of race, nationality, wealth, or fame.” Then lastly, you can predict Melania to acknowledge that this is most probably her “very last commencement address as First Lady of the United States.”

Design by Carmen Quang 

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